Dear Paul: Tompkins dispenses advice in November’s ‘Sedaratives’

- – - -

Paul F. Tompkins: website / myspace

I picked up the new issue of The Believer today, and to my most pleasant of surprises, I found that Paul F. Tompkins is filling in this month as guest columnist of Sedaratives. The single recurring feature of the magazine to which I scurry first every month, Sedaratives is Amy Sedaris‘ eponymous advice column, inside which she plays the role of agony aunt, addressing letters from hopelessly troubled readers and sharing her acerbic wit through snarky, sarcastic “tips” returned to anyone silly enough to think that they could turn to an advice column (of all things) for some actual advice. With Amy spending the better part of the past year and a half promoting her Quill Award-winning guide to domestic arts and entertainment, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence, several comedians and writers have been assigned to cover her station during her intermittent absence; among them — David Wain, Zack Galifianakis, Sarah Vowell, and this month’s extra special advice-doler(-outer?), Paul F. Tompkins.

A favorite around these parts for his absurdist reverie and bel-esprit’s approach to the most frivolous of subjects, Paul has become a dapperly dressed staple of LA’s comedy scene, hosting his own monthly show at Largo on Fairfax and making frequent appearances at this blog’s beloved home away from home, the UCB Theatre LA. From his formative days as a stand-up in Philadelphia to more recent years that have found him as a writer and performer on such television shows as Bob Odenkirk and David Cross’s Mr. Show, VH1’s Best Week Ever and The Sarah Silverman Program, Paul has mastered the delicate art of, as aspecialthing puts it, “treading the line between the intellectual and the absurd.” Word is that he even has a sitcom of his own in the pipeline somewhere, though I’m not exactly positive at the moment of when it might be seeing airwaves. Hurray though, whenever it comes! Maybe it’ll bring broader and much-deserved notice to one of the truly exceptional comedians working today.

Anywho, here’s my favorite bit of advice shared in Sedaratives this month — in this instance bestowed upon an unwell Texan named Jennifer.

- – - -

Dear Sedaratives,

I’ve been infected with poison oak or ivy. Research and doctors have told me that there is no cure and I will suffer from constant itching, oozing, and blisters for the next two to three weeks. I don’t believe the doctors. I think they are hiding something just so those of us who are highly allergic to this evil plant can suffer. Do you know of home remedy that will make the pain go away?

Jennifer

Austin, Tex.

Dear Jennifer,

I fear for your safety now that you have revealed this conspiracy. Poison oak is the least of your problems. You’d better get out of the country and I mean now. Also, I’m mocking you. Stop being ridiculous! That’s what the doctor cabal picked as the official affliction they’re gonna fold their arms over and do nothing about? Do you know how many kinds of insane cancers there are out there that they’ve probably just given up on? Come on. Tough it out. Watch where you’re walking next time. Also, “Do you know of home remedy”? Did you think talking like a villager in an old Wolfman movie would make me cough up some secret gypsy cure?

Paul

- – - -

PLUS!

A bit from Paul’s wonderful comedy album, Impersonal, recorded live at the UCB earlier this year and released in June on AST Records:

Paul F. Tompkins: Stromboli / MP3 / $$$

Pick a copy up from the AST online store, and be sure to read even more helpful hints from Paul in this month’s Believer.