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the fat girl was on her myspace today.

she always comes in late. she did it today, even though the professor told us last class to, in the future, show up promptly at 7:30 AM, even going so far as to share with us tips on how to conserve time in the morning to better allow for punctuality. you set your alarm fifteen minutes earlier and cut minutes in the shower is what you do. today, the fat girl was the only one that was late.

when she walked in — a full seven minutes after the previous person had walked in — the professor asked her to prop open the door. it took her very long to do this, though she was terribly quick to agree that it was something she’d be willing to do. while propping up the door she made a lot of noise.

she is the only student in class to use a laptop. she hacks loudly at its keys and, during lectures, carefully Edits her Friends.

she was wearing a black and white striped scarf that sinched off her meaty head, and it appeared not unlike a decorative ribbon tied tightly around the neck of a party balloon (except that on the other side of the knot where the small mouth would be, there exists an even more bulbous mass of latex — you wouldn’t see this looking at your typical party balloon).

when the professor asks the class a question, the fat girl is oftentimes the first to blurt out an answer, which would be wonderful and not-hilarious if the fat girl wasn’t always plain wrong, or dreadfully mistaken, or laughably confused with what had just been going on in the lecture prior to her raising her voice.

she has never been right about anything, the fat girl. aside from the professor, she is my favorite person in the class, and i hope to one day learn her name. for now though, i am frustrated with the fat girl, and am heaving darts from long-distance.